As readers of this blog would already know, our eldest child moved out of home a few months ago leaving me feeling bereft and with empty arms. I wasn’t quite ready to move on to the next phase of our lives—the one where the children leave.
I asked my husband if I could replace our daughter with a puppy. That is, another puppy—we already had Gretel, whom we’d got to replace Molly, our old dog, when she left us. My husband wasn’t keen—he likes that the number of live beings in this house will become fewer over the next decade or so.
I tried the, ‘It’s either another dog or another baby…’ trick, but given that’s no longer possible due to dainty surgery over a decade ago, it lacked impact.
Luckily, I had the kids onside. Together we pleaded and begged until he caved.
And here is our new baby:
Introducing Liesel
As you can see, she looks remarkably similar to the child she’s replaced:
Isabelle
They both have dark hair, although Isabelle’s is slightly longer. The more astute of you might have noticed that they both have brown eyes, too.
I am glowing with new motherhood and I couldn’t recommend this type of new motherhood more highly. Our new baby has filled the gap left in our home, in my arms, and in Isabelle’s bed.
Just woken
I’ve almost forgotten about what’s-her-name, the one that moved out.
Our new dog-baby has given me all the benefits of a human baby, but with only a fraction of the hassles. In fact, it’s been so successful that I can’t wait for the rest of our kids to leave so I can replace them with a pup, too.
Here are some of the reasons why:
1. There is no pregnancy. Someone else has done it for me! Having done four pregnancies of my own, I feel only horror at the memory of the nausea, the widening girth, the stretch marks, the reflux. Not to mention the actual birth and its sore aftermath. None of that this time.
2. There is no breast-feeding. Someone else has kindly done that for me, too.
3. There are no sleepless nights. At ten weeks of age, our baby already sleeps through the night. Every single night. NONE of the children we made did that.
4. There are no nappies to change. And—if I may have a little brag—our baby is already well on the way to being house-trained.
5. Our baby already walks, so I don’t have to carry her. Nor push her in a pram. My arms are free.
6. She entertains herself. I just give her a rubber toy or a treat or set her down with Gretel, and she’s happy. Not once have I had to lie her under an arc of dangling things playing tinkling music. Not once have I had to play peek-a-boo with her. I haven’t even had to set her in front of Play School. And not once will I ever, ever hear her whinge that she is bored.
6. Her education is much quicker and cheaper. Puppy school lasts only a few weeks and that’s it. Education done. None of this primary, then secondary, then tertiary schooling business. No requests for help with Maths, or music practice, or an assignment that’s due.
7. We can already go out and leave her at home with her older sister.
8. She feeds herself. And she likes what I put in front of her. She eats it, all of it, every last morsel. Heartily. She never says, ‘Yuk’ at the sight of something I’ve spent hours preparing, or ‘Is this enough?’ after eating two peas.
9. She never sleeps in our bed forcing us to move out and sleep in hers.
10. She lets me talk to my husband without interrupting.
11. She lets me write in the attic without interrupting.
12. I get looks of love and adoration just by rattling her food container or showing her the lead.
13. Lastly, she’s just as cute as the babies we made ourselves.
At this stage of life, I’m glad to have passed through the baby production years. I did them for long enough and I was more than happy to close that door when the time came. However, I’m not quite ready to move onto the next phase, the one where the kids leave, and my husband and I will be alone, just the two of us, rattling around in a big, empty house. That thought fills me with sadness. Fortunately, by replacing our kids with doggy babies, I can delay that for as long as I like. Or as long as my husband lets me. It’s the best of both worlds, really—we still have a lovely, lively family of ‘kids’, albeit furrier ones that walk on four legs.
And at night, I can peacefully slide between my sheets and don my specs for a quiet read, knowing I have a full night’s sleep ahead of me.
Has anyone else replaced their child with a pet and found it fulfilling? Is anyone considering it? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
Oh, dear! Poor little what’s-her-name! So easily replaced, so soon forgotten.
I really envy you your new puppy, Louise. I would dearly love one, but my husband adamantly refuses to even talk about it. And you give such a glowing account of new motherhood, too. I once had a puppy, a dog really, called Schubert because he was nothing like Beethoven. One night after work I sat at the computer to write. I still had on the skirt I’d worn that day – at that time the most expensive skirt I’d ever owned. It was full, fashionable and pure wool. The dog was quiet, companionable. Every now and then I stopped to pat him. When I stood up, my skirt had three great holes each surrounded by dog-slobber. It took a while to make peace with. him and let him back into my study.
Maureen, I cannot describe how much I love having a puppy—I’m completely addicted, just like I was to having children. My husband’s hoping it will settle before we have a houseful of dogs …
I love the story about Schubert, including how he got his name. I didn’t mention in this piece, but there are a number of chewed objects in and around our house. I try to turn a blind eye, but it can be testing … Gretel, our other dog, is only nineteen-months-old. Last year when our Year Twelve daughter had only one term of school left, Gretel munched on one of her school shoes. We had to buy a new pair for one term only …
She’s very cute. and welcome back from Varuna Louise!
Thanks, Iris. We’ll have to meet up for coffee and discussion … 😉
Great intro to the new pup, Louise! She is a darling little one. The ‘what’s-her-name’ comment cracked me up. I do enjoy your writing.
Tricia x
Thanks, Tricia. I enjoy writing lighter, more frivolous posts sometimes. Although, as I was writing, I started to realise that I have a real need to care for someone, that’s what this puppy-thing is about. Hopefully, it will pass …
Oh you cruel woman Louise! I write in my daughter’s room, which is still “Sabah’s Room” though she hasn’t lived there for seven years! And how I love this piece! Especially because I’ve just written a couple of dog scenes in my novel – this was hard for me because I’m a cat person, but my character owns a dog, so a lovely red haired Labrador has miraculously appeared in the pages of my book. I’ll have to come over and talk to Gretel and Liesel for research!
You see, you made the mistake of not ‘replacing’ Sabah when she moved out. Some people might call me fickle, but I call it ‘adapting’!
Please come for coffee one day and meet my new baby and her older sister. You have permission to steal any of their antics for whatever you want to write!
Liesel looks just adorable! I think she’s one very fortunate puppy to have you as her owner. I can see she’s going to be loved to death! Also, nice for your kids to know that they’re all going to be, eventually, substituted by such beautiful puppies and not something like a pet dugong or a flock of wild turkeys! Perish the thought, important animals, but hardly pet material, or as stand-in for one’s children. Welcome back from Varuna , Louise, sure missed having you around. But know it was important for you to be away and working on your novel. Do hope it went well.
The kids aren’t too happy that they’re so easily replaced. Then, they decided that it’s okay so long as they get to choose the pet that replaces them. We may well end up with a pet dugong or wild turkey!
Varuna was wonderful—every writer should take the opportunity to go there. Truly. It’s inspiring just to walk into the place! Then to be surrounded by all those mountains.
I worked very hard on my manuscript while I was there, then haven’t touched it since I’ve been back. It has been school holidays and we had to go away last weekend, so I do have excuses. School’s back tomorrow, so I can get stuck into it again …
Thanks for your wishes. And it’s nice to be home again, I must say. With my new baby!
This is fantastic Louise! Enjoy your new ‘baby’. 🙂
Thanks, Adele. This is a baby that the whole family can enjoy!
Love your puppy, Oh I so need a puppy, a groodle please x
Yes, that’s what I want for our next dog. If I’m allowed another dog after this …
Samantha got two as I told her as they were both working that it wasn’t fair to leave one alone all day, it’s worked a treat, they wrestle all day and are the happiest puppies. The others a mini poodle and they are always looking out for each other, just love them x
Two dogs works well. They really are company for each other. We’ve noticed Gretel barks much less of a night now she has a companion. They both sleep in the kennel together, and during the day, they’re never apart. It’s so nice to see …
She’s gorgeous Louise! I don’t usually reveal true facts but my daughter’s real name is Isabella! My friend has just bought an eight week old Japanese Spitz. About ten minutes ago she sent me a text saying, “Do you want to call in tomorrow for a cuddle?” I was a bit disturbed when I first received the text but then slowly figured out what she meant! I’d love to give Liesel a cuddle!
That’s so funny—we both have Scott’s and Isabelle/Isabella’s!
And I’m laughing, too, at your text. Yes, it might be a read rather strangely if she didn’t have a new puppy!
I’ve been meaning to say to you (and I’ll tell you formally on your blog) that I’m amazed at how often and how much you write! And how funny it is! As well as your work! I don’t know how you find the time … You are amazing!
ha ha! What does your daughter think of this post?!
I especially enjoyed number 10. With two four year olds he only Tom and I can have a decent conversation is to wait until the kids are asleep.
Thanks, Pooky! I texted my daughter to tell her that I hadn’t really forgotten her name. She texted back ‘I know’. She’s allowed me a little artistic licence!
Yes, I remember the days of not being able to finish a sentence, let alone have a conversation, while there were kids around. It does pass, sooner than you think, then you walk around with rose-coloured glasses on remembering how good those days were … 🙂