I thought I’d squeeze a blog post in before the end of the financial year—so here’s an update:
The Novel:
Unfortunately, I don’t have much to report on this front, except that I’m stuck. So stuck, I’m considering seeking help.
When I wrote the previous blog post, I was bursting with ideas, scribbling away on my butcher’s paper, and ready to sink into another rewrite.
I began feverishly and reached page 60 within a couple of days. Then I hit a wall. Since then, I’ve kept going back and making more changes, or reversing the changes I’ve made, and I haven’t moved on for a couple of weeks.
I suspect the reason is that I’m not sure what I’m doing. The story’s really changing on this rewrite, and I don’t know where I’m going with it. I don’t even know what sort of story I’m trying to tell anymore.
Up until now, I’ve written the story I wanted to tell—I let the characters do what they wanted to do, and I let the themes emerge ‘organically’, because that’s how I write. But now I’m writing to please someone else— I’m trying to write something publishable, something people want to read, and it’s not just for me anymore.
So I’m stuck and floundering and becoming despondent, and I’ve decided to seek help—I’ll keep you posted if anything comes of that …
Anything worth achieving never comes easily—I know that from my medical student days. If I’d written a blog during those years it would be full of troughs and tears, doubts and despair, and days of wondering if there really was light at the end of the tunnel.
One day, I hope I’ll read these blog posts and have a laugh as I remember the doubts and the frustrations, because there was light at the end of the tunnel and I’ve forgotten all the hair-tearing to get there!
In other news:
1. Cutting back on social media has not only freed up more time for writing, but for reading, too. I read my first Elizabeth Jolley, ‘The Newspaper of Claremont Street’, and enjoyed the quirky characters, although I wouldn’t say I loved the book.
Right now, I’m reading Charlotte Wood’s ‘The Submerged Cathedral’ and I am loving that!
2. After sitting white-knuckled next to Daughter #1 while she learnt to drive, I handballed Daughter #2’s lessons over to her father. However, last week I gave in and sat in the passenger seat while she drove. I’m happy to report we both survived.
3. Son #2’s orchestra entertained us a couple of weeks’ ago with a delightful concert.
4. You’d be forgiven for thinking it’s spring in our garden:
5. My daughter’s been making cupcakes again:
7. The dogs sat for portraits:
8. And, finally, a question:
Hope your writing is going better than mine!
Best wishes,
Louise xx
Take a break! Write a short story. Paint a picture. Give your head peace. Hugs x 😉
I’ve hardly touched it for a couple of days, Lauren, and I think I know what I must do! Thanks for your hugs. x
I’m no-one’s idea of a cricket aficionado, but you should compare hands. Mr Barnett could not possibly replicate Mr Healey’s crooked, battered fingers!
Sorry to hear about your novel wall, Louise. I won’t attempt to advise, other than to say I hope it ends up being the story YOU want it to be.
No, I will advise (just a bit.) Put Ida in the drawer for a while. Maybe you’ve done this already. It probably won’t hurt her to marinate some more. Maybe write something else in the meantime (not necessarily long or serious.) Would it even hurt to go back to the MS in its TAG Hungerford iteration and consider different changes (or even not that many changes) to the ones you’ve already attempted?
Anyway, just thoughts. You’re far better positioned to know what’s troublesome with Ida than I am…
Thanks for these thoughts, Glen. Although I’d revised it since the Hungerford, I hadn’t made significant changes to the actual storyline. This time I have, and I know I must. The hard bit is not losing sight of the story I want to tell and its themes in the process, so it’s still the story I want it to be. Then there’s tidying up all the domino effects of the changes …
I think Ian Healey has lots of doppelgangers, particularly a mate of my hubby’s called Wayne. I swear every time I see Heals i think of this bloke. So yes – there are some Col similarities too.
I think you and I might be channeling eachother in this massacre-of-the-WIP. Today, I finished (yet again) this book with the burned hero. I’ve now written 3 different endings and really, I should probably be concentrating on the bloody start of the darn thing, seeing as how so far no publisher or agent who I’ve sent it to has wanted to read beyond 50 pages. Sigh. Sigh again.
I feel for you on the rewrite and not knowing anymore what is the best way to go (or how to get there) – but I’m sure one day you will be re-reading the blog and having a laugh, when you are rich and famous 🙂
The only other thing I could suggest is to let it be for a week and do something else. Those are famous last words – I sure as heck can’t take my own advice. #MustTweakOneMoreTime (and please note that’s tweak and not twerk) 🙂
Like you, I have trouble stepping away from my WIP—I keep thinking, If I just keep working on it, it will come. But you’re right, sometimes the answer comes when you do step away. And part of it has, actually. Even just setting my concerns out in this post has helped!
I know exactly how frustrated you must be feeling! If ever you want a reader or sounding board or just an enthusiastic supporter (I love your writing), I’m here …
oooh, careful! I might take you up on that 🙂
And I’m so thankful that you did! I’m enjoying it so much. x
Oh, Louise, you are so fretful. You are forgetting that your novel Ida’s Children” got a huge boost when it was short-listed. Don’t be so critical of yourself. You have a good story. Maybe it needs a few tweeks here and there, but I imagine they are very few. Instead you are trying to rewrite the whole stor\y. Send it to another agent. Don’t forget that a rejection is ONE person ‘s opinion. Love you and love your talent.
Thanks, Betty. It needs a bit more than a tweak, unfortunately. I think it’s working out what I’m prepared to change and what I’m not, and for the things I want to change, how to still make them fit with the story I want to tell …
Oh Louise, I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling with your rewrite. I don’t know what to say except that I think we can only write the story that is ours to tell, and I hope you don’t lose the thread of it while trying to please someone else. I’ve heard such wonderful things about your manuscript so far (in comments people have made) and agree with Betty’s assessment that it probably only needs a few tweaks rather than a rewrite. Perhaps taking a break for a while to consider what you really want to write in the story might help, though you may have already gone down that path. I’m glad you’re able to get some help with this and look forward to hearing more good things about Ida’s Children in the future. All the very best xx
Yes, I can’t lose sight of my thread and my theme, and I think I did! I’ll try to put it away for a while. Try to. 😉
Good luck with it all, I know you’ll get there!
Thanks 🙂
Writing is such hard work, Louise. The title of your post says it all. I’m glad the rest of your life lends itself to such lovely photos and your sense of humor seems intact in spite of the tribulations of a pesky manuscript.
Thanks, Maureen. Writing is tedious, frustrating, annoying, hair-tearing, and ridiculously hard work! Thank God for a sense of humour. And perspective—it’s not my arm or leg!
I’m sure every writer would relate to your feelings of doubt and confusion. So this current turmoil is likely just par for the course … though that’s not much comfort is it?! I like everyone else’s suggestion of taking a break completely- even if just a week. Your subconscious will work on the book while you read or walk or cook or whatever. Sending you much empathy
Hearing other writers say it’s normal is such a comfort because part of the self-doubt is feeling that no other writer has had these problems—they seem to write their books effortlessly! A break from it would help, I’m sure, and give my subconscious time to work, as you say. Thanks for your empathy! x
Louise, delighted to read an update, but sad you are stuck. Please, when you have time, would you drop me a line at gularav@gmail.com . I’d like to offer some help.
Thanks, Gulara. I’ll drop you a line …
That sounds really awful, Louise, the being stuck in your writing and worst of all because you sense you’re trying to please someone else to get your story published. I’m wary of writing to that sort of implacable audience. Good that you get help, hopefully someone who recognises your talent and lets you be you. Best writing comes from you. And not from that implacable audience. after all, there’s so much subjectivity in getting published, and the difficulties you experience thus far may not be entirely because of your writing, your story. The publishing industry is fairly narrow these days, at least as I understand and also limited by the subjectivity of those at its helm. Whatever you do, don;t give up, but as others say, maybe take a break for a little while, and/or seek help as you already plan to do. It’s easy for me to talk. Ho-hum. I’m in the same boat, but I’m determined not to succumb to the demands of the so-called mainstream and popular market. Your book will find a home.
Thanks, Elisabeth. I’m going to have to work out how to make the necessary changes while still telling the story I want to tell. As I’ve said in earlier responses, there are changes that I need to make, and I’m prepared to. But there’s also a story I want to tell and I don’t want to tell another one, not with this book. At the end of the day, I’ve got to hope that is enough.
I’m with Betty. I just don’t understand why it would need a complete rewrite if it was shortlisted for an award. I’d find that extremely disheartening.
Thanks, Pinky! It does need a huge rewrite, and I can see why. I can’t tell you too much without giving away the plot, but there was a particular incident that I don’t think worked and actually distracted from the main issue, and there was also a character who was all bad, with no redeeming features, who I need to make her less of a cardboard cutout! So, I have to make changes, yet still tell the story I want to tell.
I’m with Betty and Elisabeth to, I refuse to believe your story needs such a massive rewrite. You are so brave, I however will not even show my writing to anyone, and would rather bury my head in the sand. And we know how fussy I am about my hair so that’s saying something xxxxx
Ha ha! Your hair always looks perfect, Rae! Yes, it’s a bit frustrating and I’d rather put my head in the sand about it. But if I want to get published, I can’t …
Sorry to hear of your struggle, Louise. I’m inclined to believe you’re (as others have said) doing a re-write when it only needs a tweak. Perhaps go back to the TAG version and the basics.
Try writing a synopsis in three sentences, telling what the story is about. Consider theme, plot and characters. Who are they, what do they want and what stops them getting it – how do they change?
I find it useful to write the whole story in a short poem, to narrow down exactly what I’m trying to say. I then put it next to my computer to keep focussed.
Your original story must have been of a high standard so knock that parrot off your shoulder, open the window and let it fly far away.
I don’t think it needs as much of a rewrite as I initially thought it did. In fact, I’ve realised I don’t want to. I want to keep its essence, and just make the changes that are necessary.
I always find my best ideas about plot problems come when I’m not at my desk, usually when I’m doing something mindless, like walking, swimming, washing dishes or driving in the car. I always find my brain will work on it subconsciously and then hand me the idea when it’s ready, but never before. Maybe move to a different part of the book and write that instead of trying to get through the part you’re stuck on – I do this a lot. There is no reason to write it in order and sometimes working on a part that’s ahead of where you are helps you to see what needs to happen earlier. Give me a call if you need to talk about it. And also know that this is very normal. x
Thanks, Natasha. My mind works like that, too—gives me the answers at the most unexpected of times. And thanks for telling me it’s very normal! That’s soooo encouraging to hear! x (PS. Thanks for the offer of a phone call—I might take you up on that!)
Please do! Any time. x
Thanks again. You’re very kind. x
Louise, I can’t help but think of Winnie the Pooh when his head was caught in the honey pot He was surrounded by all that delicious honey. Not a bad place to be.
You’re surrounded by the world and characters you have created. They are living breathing people; I’ve seen that in the excerpts you’ve shared with us. Your writing is amazing. Really.
I agree with everyone who suggests you take a breather.(only you can judge how long that should be.) But I would add take stock of how far you’ve come. You know where you’re headed you just need to trust that you’ve taken the right path, No one says you have to do it alone. Get another perspective.
If it helps. I sometimes feel as if I’ll never get it right, that I”m wasting my time; that everyone else finds writing easier than I do. But then I realize however hard it is — I love it so.And would flounder without it. I feel very lucky that I have found my passion this late in my life. I think you feel the same way.
Hang in there You’ll get where you want to go. Bird by Bird.
Thanks, Penny. Yes, I did take a breather—I was stuck, so I had no choice, a bit like Winnie! I’d also lost sight of what I’d already created, and was giving it a complete makeover, when it might not need as much doing to it as I thought. There are still bits I need to change, and I will, and of course, those changes will have flow-on effects, but that’s okay—I’ll just have to deal with it!
You are so right about hearing and knowing you’re not the only writer for whom it doesn’t always come easily. You do wonder if everyone else finds it as hard as you do—and I think they do.
We are lucky to have found our passions—even at our ages! My main concern is that I have enough time left to write all that I want to!
And bird by bird is right. I’ve actually decided to think of my book in sections—so section by section, I’ll get there!
Thanks for your lovely comments. xx
Louise, I hope my comments did not come across as dismissive. You have worked long and hard on Ida’s Children and it must be gut wrenching to not be able to move forward on it. I am so sorry you find yourself stuck. I feel that way sometimes. It’s not fun. My intent was to cheer you on– for you to consider all you have accomplished. To hear someone say and mean it that you’re a terrific writer. And you’ll get through this. So no more Winnie the Pooh analogies. I wish I had said before what I’ve said here. Please accept my apology.
Penny, I knew exactly what you meant, and I know you and know you’d never be dismissive. Please don’t give it a second thought and no need to apologise. I hope your writing is going well! Best wishes. xx
Louise, I’m ill-equipped to give advice to anyone about writing, being the biggest self-doubter ever to walk the face of the earth. You are intelligent, generous-spirited and passionate. Your writing reflects these qualities. Maybe the slump you’re currently experiencing has little to do with writing, but more to do with ongoing, resolving issues relating to those difficult experiences in your past.
Self-doubt plagues every writer, I’m sure. We need a bit of it in order to keep trying to improve, but it has its downside, in that we secretly think we’re not very good at it! Whenever I get feedback I take it onboard, often wholly, figuring the person giving the feedback knows more than me. However, I’m slowly learning how to take feedback but still keep my vision on the page. You’ll be pleased to know my writing has come unstuck, and I’ve written past page 60! Thanks for this thoughtful comment, Margaret, and for your kind words about my writing.