My apologies for being so quiet on my blog lately. As most of you would already know, I’ve been doing the structural edits on my novel. They’re notoriously hard—just ask any author—and I had only one month in which to complete them. That month also happened to be February, so I felt a little short-changed—why couldn’t it have been January or March? Those extra three days would have been nice!
For those readers who aren’t novelists, perhaps I should explain what a structural edit actually is. A structural editor looks at the big picture of a novel—the ‘macro’—checking everything to make sure the whole story flows. They review things like the narrative arc, the characters, and the plot, and check for holes or things that aren’t clear or don’t make sense.
My structural editing report was eight pages long. I can now admit that when I first read it, I nearly cried. This text to my husband says it all:
‘Got the edits and I’m panicking. Want to give back the advance and pull out. I can’t do it 😫😫😫😭😭😭’
I felt awful. I thought I’d written the worst story ever, that I was a shit writer, and that I should pull out of the contract and save Allen and Unwin the embarrassment of publishing my manuscript.
Those thoughts didn’t last long, though. I pulled myself together and reminded myself that, firstly, A&U had liked my book enough to buy it, and, secondly, some of the comments in those eight pages were actually nice things about my book.
Thirdly, and perhaps most reassuringly of all, every single point my editor had said was spot on and insightful. She’d understood my book, its characters, and its themes—she’d got it. She was someone whose judgement I could trust, and she was helping me to make it better. That’s what this was about—making my story the best it could be, and to me, that meant everything.
The vision my editor had for my novel was my vision, too, and I so dearly wanted to deliver. But sitting in the pit of my belly was a weighty doubt that I could.
However, because pulling out wasn’t an option, I had no choice but to try. I felt as if I was aiming for the impossible, but I boxed up my self-doubts and anxiety and put them aside, and set to work. I did not cry once during the whole four weeks—I’m actually very proud of that. I felt like it, many times, but, as one does when confronted with anything that seems impossible, I kept my doubts tucked away and slowly worked my way through each sentence and paragraph, page and chapter of my manuscript—bird-by-bird, as Ann Lamott says. Like with anything you plug away at, you eventually reach the end—the insurmountable is never as insurmountable as it seems.
I may not have achieved everything I set out to do, but I’ve certainly made my novel better, and brought it closer to that ‘ideal’ for which I was aiming.
I must say that since submitting it, I’ve sent my editor further revisions. When I sent the Final Final Final Draft, I realised I had to close the file and step away from my computer, or I’d have kept going.
Now I wait to see what my editor thinks. I may have to revise more before I move onto the next stage, the ‘copy edits’. Copy edits examine the ‘micro’ of a manuscript, looking at things like spelling, grammar, punctuation and word choices, and checking that facts and dates are correct.
They’re meant to be much easier—fingers crossed!
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It’s such a nice feeling to have submitted those edits! Well done – and I agree with everything you’ve said about the edit. It’s the hardest but best experience because you never quite believe you can dig so deep and, at the end, you can really see how much better the book is. I certainly can’t wait to read it!
Yes, it’s a bit of a relief. It took me some time before I could completely relax, though—I felt as if I should still be editing.
It’s one of the most taxing things I’ve ever done, but one of the most rewarding, too. Like anything that’s hard—it’s always worthwhile. And it’s so nice to work with someone else who shares your vision.
Thank you, too, for your encouraging words. They were so timely and so needed! 🙂
This is a part of the novel production process that is a mystery to me, but as a reader, I know when it hasn’t been done properly.
So the blood, sweat and tears will be worth it:)
I hope so, Lisa, and I hope you’ll think it’s been done well. Believe me, I tried my hardest! 🙂
Wow! Such a timely post! I tried my own structural edit +I’m writing my first novel – and lost faith in my ability to write anything worthwhile! It’s so full of holes I just don’t know if it’s worth working on. After reading your post I have a little spark of faith. Added to that my husband’s response to my loss of faith is so supportive I know I must give it a go. Knowing you, as a published author have mega doubts tells me I’m not alone. Thank you, Louise for your openness and honesty.
No, don’t give up, Susan! This is the third big structural edit I’ve done on my manuscript in response to feedback, not to mention the countless revisions I’ve done on my own.
My novel is virtually unrecognisable from its origins, honestly. It was so holey and repetitive and all over the place. So many times I’ve thought it was complete and utter rubbish, and felt like trashing it and not writing another word.
I say never give up on a manuscript, not completely. Put it aside for a while if necessary, but don’t give up on it. You can always improve it, little-by-little. It just takes time and effort. You’ve no idea what can be done with a ‘holey’ manuscript!
These days, I look upon self-doubt as my friend. It’s necessary, I think, because it makes us improve our writing and our manuscripts. But there are times you have to box it up, and say, ‘I really can’t listen to you right now,’ and write on!
Thank you for commenting, and if you ever need a pep talk, just let me know! It’s great your husband is encouraging, too—we need our support team! 🙂
Thank you Louise! I will keep working on it. There’s a huge amount of work yet to be done. I appreciate the opportunity for a pep talk and may just take you up on that some time soon. 🙂
Everyone says it’s all about persistence and not giving up, and I couldn’t agree more. Just message me when you need that pep talk! x
I’m in a tingle. So excited for you. I know how hard you have worked Louise. Not long to go xxx
Thanks, Rae. I’m starting to get excited now, too! Can’t wait, in fact. x
You are so generous in sharing the experiences of your journey toward publication. I can’t wait to hold your book in one hand and give you a hug with the other! I can’t promise that I won’t cry at that point. 😊❤
I can’t wait to hug you, too! And bring those tears on! They’ll be happy ones. x
Proud of you Louise for your eloquent honesty and sticking at it through the grim times, yet knowing when to back away from the perfectionist urge to keep picking away at the scab. Look forward to your “birthed” baby book. Big hug from Louise Lane X
Thank you so much, Louise. Editing isn’t easy, and this edit was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. At the same time, almost in completely contradiction to that, I was in my bliss! It was four weeks of obsessional, perfectionistic heaven! Four weeks of unleashed obsessional indulgence! I’m obviously meant to be an author!
You’re right, too, about knowing when to stop indulging these obsessional traits, and step away and leave it, even with its flaws.
Thanks so much for your comment, and I’m so warmed to hear your looking forward to my book!
xx
It is exciting, Louise. You are very fortunate, I think, to get such support from a big publishing house. Clearly your first submitted draft must have held great promise. It’s my impression that editors within publishing houses are a dying breed.
Like you, I’ve been working my way through the structural edit of my childhood memoir. I was uplifted by it, because, while giving the writing great praise, she said it was hard to put her finger on why it doesn’t have the impact it should. But she has! I’d attempted the difficult task of telling my mother’s story (for the childhood part of my life, as well as the early years of her marriage before I was born) as well as my own, and my editor’s suggestions are intended to link the two stories (each in first person and present tense) together more, and to join them with the third voice, my older self looking back. So it’s a complex structure, and she’s done a wonderful job on pointing to the cracks and the creaky hinges. Also pointing out where I need to give the child’s voice more scope, to say things I’d left unsaid. She also did a light line edit.
I motored through 2/3 of the edit, then got waylaid by some paid editing that’s come in. My target is to finish by the end of May, when she will do a reread.
Enough of my story, it’s about yours, which is nearing completion. It’s a wonderful process, and you will be able to bask in the outcome.
I think the editors at publishing houses are run off their feet, and I’m realising why you have to have your manuscript well polished before they can take it on—they just don’t have the time to hold your hand through multiple redrafts.
I loved hearing what you’re up to with your manuscript—sounds like your editor is wise and tuned into you. Good luck and keep me informed. 🙂 x
I heartily empathize at the daunting task of facing a structural edit while at the same time having to smile a little at the angst-ridden stages of the writing life (my own being no exception): I left the world of Internet 6 months ago at a point when you were anxiously awaiting news of publication, and now return to you completing the first of the editing phase. Bravo, on both counts!
Thank you, Robyn. 🙂 It’s so nice to hear from you again—I’d love to hear how Maatsuyker went and how your writing is going.
Yes, I have a publishing contract and my novel will be published in September. It’s a very exciting time. 🙂 x
I feel overwhelmed just thinking about all the work you have put into this. I can only imagine your angst. It’s so exciting for you, though!
A lot of work has gone into it—I began it properly in Feb 2012, although I had written a short story with the same characters in July 2010, and written 50,000 words I never looked at again for NaNo 2010.
By the time it’s published, it will be 5 1/2 years of working on it. I’ve lost count of the number of drafts and rewrites, and I haven’t looked at the latest number of discarded words—it was at 175,000 until this most recent draft.
But it’s all completely and utterly worth it! Thanks Pinky! 🙂
So excited for you and am looking very forward to having a good read.
Thank you! I’m excited about everyone being able to read it—I’m nervous, too, but also excited. 🙂 Thanks for visiting. x