Last night, Rupert, joey of Rowena the toy kangaroo, was badly mauled and mutilated.

Rupert's body

Rupert’s body

By the time we found him, he had severe facial trauma and half an ear missing. My plastic surgery skills weren’t up to the task, so unfortunately, we had to pronounce Rupert dead.

There were tears from a very sad 10-year-old. Not to mention the bereft mother, Rowena, and her empty pouch.

The grieving mother

The grieving mother

We set up a crime scene:

Crime Scene

Crime Scene

And studied the body:

Rupert's corpse

Rupert’s corpse

When we looked closer, we found a clue:

A white hair

White hairs

There’s only one member of this household with white hair:

Gretel, the Golden Retriever

Gretel, the Golden Retriever

Moreover, there have been a string of other maulings and deaths:

Another recent soft toy death

A recent soft toy death

Two other recent soft toy deaths

And two more …

We’ve also found other object trauma:

This mat is meant to have a neat, square corner.

This mat is meant to have a neat, square corner.


The couch corner was also square and neat.

So is this couch.

Same with the skirting

And this skirting

This was once our reticulation ...

This was once our reticulation …

But the real giveaway was how we found this bed one morning:

Chewed dog bed

Chewed dog bed

Yes, Gretel’s bed.

Believing we’d found Rupert’s murderer, we confronted her. She tried to look innocent …

Innocence and denial

Feigning innocence

However, she couldn’t fool Rowena:

Rowena having a few words with Gretel

Rowena having a few words with Gretel

And finally admitted her guilt:

Gretel's guilt


Crime Solved. Case closed. Killer behind bars. Well, behind a fence.